I studied Politics at degree level

But I like to rap and rhyme, play the drums and wear my pants low

I’m in the corporate world working as a Business Analysis Consultant,

But I like to hang out in “the ends” and catch nostalgic moments of the past struggle

I speak eloquently when I’m in business or have something of real importance to discuss,

But I can easily break out into street slang and a “hood tone”, if and when it might be required

I used to think that I had to hide all of these different sides from each other

I used to feel like I couldn’t introduce one to the other

I used to get confused about who to bring out and when

Perhaps I have become a very skilled master of identity shifting

I used to feel that I had to suppress all of me, just to be accepted into specific environments or to be successful

I walk around government offices where ministerial children / Princeton type graduates, walk around in hoodies whilst I adorn myself in a 3 piece suit

You couldn’t have written this back in the day

They remind me of a freedom I always wished for but could never indulge in, out of fear of rejection or discrimination

Or is it me who has learnt to hide behind an exterior image?

Today, I feel the urge to become one

To allow all of my being to breathe

To set all of me free from past chains of assumptions and judgements

I think perhaps that I might have been my biggest judge and jury

I’d like to change the verdict

I like to declare myself free

2 comments

  1. So beautifully written, Catrina.
    I can relate to feeling as though you have to suppress yourself to meet other’s standards of successful. This is inspiring.

    Like

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