Throughout life we all tend to embark upon a picture painting course. It’s the painting we begin to paint that represents who we are, what we want and need, what we believe, what we stand for. It’s interesting though, because there are certain points in this course whereby our paintings start to reflect things that we are less proud of, an image of ourselves and what we have or are surrounded by that was not a part of our original plans and aspirations.
So what do we do? Usually we start to paint the fictional part of our picture! To “enhance” what isn’t going so well or hasn’t turned out quite “right”. These are the parts of our paintings that keep everybody else in admiration (or not, depending on the persons); it’s these parts of our paintings that we convince ourselves are worthy of incorporation, in the hope that they will become our reality soon enough – so all of a sudden we are in debt to a painted picture. “Just for now!”, we tell ourselves.
As artists of our own paintings, we continue, creating a parallel view between reality and what we desire. And what a wonderful feeling it is to capture, almost personify our desires – however premature they are. This is usually the peak of the painting, because we remember each stroke of paint and which belongs to truth and which belongs to fiction.
To our detriment, something starts to hinder this process. The unsustainable process! But we always knew there would be risks. We always knew that the decline in the peace we feel would soon come to an end – because of course, we would be so busy keeping tabs on those different strokes of paint. Too often and too soon do the rules of reality catch up with us…somehow. We realise, through observing the beautiful paintings of our lives, that we have lost track of what is real and what is fictional. And in fact, the fictional aspects have become so huge, that we are compelled to continue refining this facade. The truth is so hidden that it almost seems impossible to come clean, wash away the lies and start over with what we really have, represent and who we really are.
Although the idea of trashing a perfect painting seems ludicrous, it’s actually the best decision that we can make for ourselves. Because it is then that we accept that a picture is only “perfect” to the one who is living it. We come to realise that our paintings are for our individual benefit, first and most foremost. Can you remember a time in your life where you exhaled so long and so hard…….and it felt sooooo good! Why? Because enough was enough! You couldn’t care less what it was going to look like. But you knew you could no longer walk around with 2 different types of paintings in one…..
When there is more cheer for the painting of your life from others, than there is coming from yourself, that is the moment when your truth meets your lies. And nobody else can see that parallel view but you!
So what am I saying? Where am I going with this?
At this point in my journey I am learning that there is no peace in living a lie; that the painting we try so hard to maintain on the outside, becomes an extremely heavy burden to carry on the inside; that the peace of my conscience is often confirmation that I am doing the right thing by me!
So picture this…..a life painting that remains yours and yours alone – not dictated by the pressures of needing to show or offer an external perfection. A painting of self worth that is allowed to grow and be watered at its own pace, by the things, the colours, the experiences that you choose. A painting that shows not so much the cracks of time but the wisdom of maturity, of patience, of honesty.
We must remember that our paintings begin as a creation of freedom, led by exploration, excitement and hope, not external expectation. We must protect our freedom and pay attention to the things that trick us into painting a “fictional truth”……
….Because there is no such thing.
Know You, Stay True x