So I’ve been thinking about fantasies and the role they play in our lives. As children, fantasies are often seen as great attributes (in their own right). It’s the innocent ability to dream, the mental capacity to envisage where it is you want to be OR do, someday. It’s the act of knowing what you like and being able, free enough, to create it in your mind. As children we dream big, we fantasize bigger than the rules of gravity, bigger than the mechanics of day and night; bigger than the proven courses of life and death. And it’s OK! as a child you are encouraged to dream, fantasize.
In our adult lives, day dreaming takes a dive and we quickly put on the act of “fantasizing”. The latter being a little less innocent. All of a sudden dreams become fantasies and fantasies become daring! filled with risky adrenalin; dangerous, perhaps perverted even (depending on the type of character and “thing” being fantasized); we share less of them as we get older, in an open manner anyway.
We fantasize about that person we’ve been longing to be with, maybe because we’ve never felt quite deserving of their calibre; or that kinky act that we’d love to play out with somebody of the same mind to us, because we wouldn’t dare put into words what we really want to do; or that romantic gesture that we wish would be done to us; or that knight in shining armour that sweeps us off our feet, or that angelic gem of a female that will give you the best sex, keep the house clean and support your football team…..And I’m not attempting to deal with the fantasies that fall into the categories of pedophilia or schizophrenia natured stuff or the like….I’m keeping it fairly simply in my reference towards a fantasy. Just the average, unharmful, touchy feely, warm and cuddly, make your heart skip a few beats or the palms of your hands drip with odorous liquids, type fantasies.
It’s quite funny (interesting rather) looking at what tends to happen when we attempt to touch a fantasy, as adults; when we decide that we want to make them real! materialise them. Because I’m wondering (being one that has kicked herself after feeling quite stupid post attempting to touch a fantasy and failing!!!!) ……Is it that we forget that gravity exists at those points of achieving our wildest “fantasy ridden” dreams?!! Breaking the biggest rule of a fantasy maybe!!!????!! Do we forget that the moon and the sun will always bring day and night, no matter what?!?!? And who is it that defines what a fantasy really is anyway? Because, I’ve touched a fantasy or two in my time; even materialised a few of them too. Hhhhh. And sadly, it appears that they are not supposed to be “captured”. Once captured, they go by a different name!!!! It’s almost like they have a safe, rightful place of existence and they become very ugly and damaged when met with reality. It’s like taking off your oxygen mask in space, orrrrr, a vampire being exposed to the sun!!! that is what tends to happen when you bring a fantasy into reality. Even if for a moment, it appears that those wings you attached to yourself are causing you to fly, you’ll soon feel a firm and hard knock, to remind you that those artificial wings are really no wings at all. And another thing I’ve found, is that fantasies have limits in reality. Once you’ve lived out that one fantasy, you then have to increase the threshold of it, or move onto the next.
I am now becoming convinced that a fantasy will remain a fantasy as long as it is not “touched”. I am growing in the view that there is NO SUCH THING as a fantasy that is existing and being “enjoyed” in a real-state. No way! You’ve just changed its name, if you have just “had it”. So therefore, was it ever a fantasy in the first place?
I am now inclined to enjoy those mindful moments, those secret giggles of joy over a blissful imaginative situation; exercising self-control when my whole body is forcing me to make it real. Why? because I am seeing that if we try to as much as hand-cuff a fantasy, it is we that will become the prisoners. The one’s with no escape from reality because we’ve made everything in our minds real!
So I plead with you, on this journey I take to unravel the rightful place of a fantasy. DON”T DO IT…..!!!!!
DO NOT attempt to capture what is meant to remain free.